Tuesday 16th July, 2013 (Day 6)
Well I am a bit blue today….. All my own doing of course, but still, that does not help.
I skipped my morning session again using my favourite excuse of “I’m tired”, and what makes this even more stupid is my morning session is my favourite !!!! So today started with a guilt trip in the shower and a mental beating. Then behold….. work pants are tight….. thank you oh great universe…. that gentle reminder of my goals was just what I needed….. not. I recognise that I’ve done this myself and don’t really need that extra boost….. Far out, who would have thought a day at the races, a dodgy dinner and a couple of missed workouts (out of 11) would de-rail someone !!!! Geez… Big girl panties anyone ????
AND because I’m blue what else besides wanting to eat an entire realm of chocolate could possibly eventuate ??? Stupid hormones and stupid emotions and no I didn’t have any.
BUT – I did also skip my arvo weights session 😦 and spent the time I would have been happily training digging my way to the bottom of a bucket of ice cream, attacking the peanut butter and having god knows how many beautiful red cherries for “dessert”…………. then having a big cry about it in the shower (It’s only day 6 for Christ sake…..). I’m so so sad about my efforts today. I own it and know I can and will do better, but I feel so defeated (BY STUPID FOOD AND EXCUSES)…… So I do need to work on my mental strength. Tomorrow I’ll be focussing on my excuses. This being tired all the time excuse just cannot cut it anymore and I need to recognise ways to counteract this excuse…. Oh I have Michelle Bridges voice in my head right now telling me to “get real”…. Which reminds me. I joined up with MB for the coming next 12 week challenge and am pumped….. well as pumped as a misery guts can be on a blue day…….. so stay tuned for that part of the journey…..
It’s so easy to say it’s just an emotion, it’ll pass, but until it does, it’s an exhausting, internally hateful game. Cravings, feelings and nasty self deprecating comments…… Not good…. not helping reach goals…..
I’m really worried about ‘Weigh In Wednesday’….. Can’t fix that now hey !!! Stupid stupid girl !!! and now I’m going to be carrying extra water weight and feel like crap….. stupid girl…… Well I guess next week will be hella awesome !!!! I have got to put into place counteractive measures to assist this mental battle…. Finding my determination and inner warrior !!! Priority 1 !!!
So today’s stats = Nutrition ??? I was great for all my meals then screwed up……. How do I put a figure on that ? I went over on calories, went against my “I will not binge” decree…… but I did stick to the rest of my nutrition plan…… 50% ???? Training and big fat goose egg 0%…….