Monday 2nd September, 2013 (Day 22)
Moodiness is currently at an all time high as my expectations of loved ones seems to be at the level that I’m currently travelling at and I am being disappointed….. continually.
I fit a pretty good rate of tasks into my day from just before 5am through to when I get home at about 6.30pm and that’s when I cook dinner etc and if other people in the household are not pulling their weight it’s now making me extra crabby as I believe if I can do all that I do then they should too right ????
WRONG !!! It’s a constant battle to remind myself that I am CHOOSING to fit everything into my life and they have chosen not to do anything over what they want to do. I can always say no to requests (well, within reason) and I can always skip a workout or dinner, but I have set my goals and although the process to get there is seriously not fun, it’s what I’ve chosen to do.
Now I am very well aware that outside influences have created my mood (no hormones, lack of carbs or any other reason out there) but what I find interesting is that I’ve internalised my reaction to that influence and instead of dealing with it I just want to eat crap and watch TV. The pull of a caramel slice is plaguing my mind at the moment and I just keep reminding myself that I will feel even worse than I do now if I go and give into it. And of course I simply don’t want to do anything except go home, have a hot shower, drink a copious amount of wine, sleep and start fresh tomorrow. The last thing I want to do is train but again, I keep telling myself that I will feel even worse if I don’t train and it may actually help put me in a better frame of mind if I hit some weights.
I believe you choose how you react to situations and how you cope. I may not be a ray of freaking happy sunshine at the moment but at least I’m not giving in. And anyone who wants to tell me that happiness is simply a state of mind can kiss my butt, shit happens and sometimes you will just feel pretty freaking unhappy about it all, but you CAN choose whether to polish of an entire box of chocolates with a ridiculous amount of wine and create a Fort on the couch or you an choose to still work at your goals.